Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing
by afeverdream
Summary: The sock monkey was judging her. Her head pounded like a soccer riot and who's leg did she find next her in bed.   Darcy was never going to bob for apples in hard cider again, that was certain.


**I wish I got the Eskimo costume Darcy has in this. It would have been a way smarter idea than the JEM costume. Warmer at least, yeah northeaster this weekend. **

**As usual I do not own. I've just been watching horror movies for the past week and needed something fun. I've also learned not to compliment people in this thing unless they actually start a conversation with me. Compliments apparently bite you in the ass. On that note, a heart felt thank you to xxXAsterRoseXxx and i'm not ulysses. You both really made me smile on my last story!**

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><p>Her head. It was like Jason Vorhees kept thwacking her with his machete. Why she decided it was a good idea to bob for apples in a vat of hard cider was beyond her twisted reasoning.<p>

Why were the Halloween gods torturing her like this? Honestly you've never lived till you've seen a cute Eskimo girl do a keg stand. She still had her boots and dress. They were just located across her bedroom. She was in her own apartment, her own bed and why was the sock monkey on the floor looking at her like that? True her panties where thrown over the stuffed animal but he didn't have to judge her with that certain look.

Wait! Why were her admittedly cute underros thrown across the room? Why did they looked ripped and where was her bra?

Darcy started to pat the bed around her. Her hung over state making it difficult to open her eyes. Hell she wanted to roll out of bed and crawl to the bathroom to stand under the shower because she felt that gross.

Her hand continued its sweep, pausing when she felt the end of the blanket she was smothered in. Darcy tugged; and tugged again. Blanket was not moving. Her bleary brain came to the conclusion it was stuck in the mattress. Her hand roamed again and discovered a leg.

Oh dear God! Please be Jane's, pleasepleasepleaseplease! It wouldn't surprise her; it was her and Jane's party. Thor had finally come back (that's dedication, why couldn't she find a guy like that?). Plus the whole tension with his brother was solved. Something about lies, war bargaining chips, family equality and other things her alcohol poisoned brain was dragging up; so they decided a night of good natured celebration was in order. Little did they know S.H.I.E.L.D would be involved. Which meant Tony Stark and who knew Captain America could play beer pong like that? Darcy mentally corrected herself, his name is Steve and she really shouldn't have kept saluting and harassing him for Girl Scout cookies last night. That's rude.

Back to random appendage, Darcy felt it again. It was far too long for Jane. And well frankly she didn't think her boss lady/friend would have gone that long without a wax since god o' thunder was back. That made her giggle then frown. Hard cider apparently made the inner rude innuendoes emerge. How many terms she made up for orgasms and thunder last night baffled her. She might have made up a limerick. Which earned laughter from the room and applause from Loki; who Stark had somehow convinced to show up. In a leather jacket and deep forest green shirt that hugged his wonderfully lanky frame. After that all memory became hazy and there were connected body parts in her bed. So she wasn't involved in a slasher flick.

That meant there was a man in her bed. The bed in which she was naked. Which caused her to open both eyes, gasp and hold her blanket to her chest; she thought she could absorb it. This did not happen to her. Nope not at all. Sure she talked a good talk but if a attractive man (adopted asgardian brother god on TV in leather. Mmmmm leather!) so much as looked at her sideways, Darcy became the stuttering awkward tomboy she was growing up and still was.

She slowly turned her head, which was now playing the psycho theme, and examined the body attached to the long lean leg she so recently felt up. The blanket was pulled to the dip in his lower back. He was turned slightly on his side and a well defined torso was stretched out. One arm flung out and the other pillowing his head. Which was covered in semi long black hair that was starting to curl. Like boyishly mop curl.

Another gasp came out of her mouth, there was only one being she knew that had hair like that. Sure it was mostly slicked back and highlighted amazing check bones, eyes that stopped your breath and a sinfully wicked mouth.

He was snoring, lightly like he hadn't slept this well in weeks. He looked, for the lack of a better word, adorable. Like she wanted to keep him here and make him breakfast in bed adorable sexy.

Except she apparently got her slutty little Eskimo warm me up in an igloo act on. She wasn't that girl. Not in a million years. Darcy ran her hands three her hair only to have them get tangled in a mass of; oh god was that what she thought it was? No wonder the sock monkey was shaming her.

She needed out of here now and did the only sensible thing. She slide herself up and out of the covers, grabbed the first article of clothing in her reach and ran out of the room. All hung over ninja like of course.

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><p>Which ended up with her being stared down by Thor while wearing a green v-neck t-shirt. Which was so soft and smelled like why her panties were decimated.<p>

"Darcy." The blond older brother of the zonked out sex god in her bedroom said. "Feeling well? Jane and I left last night. We are sorry to leave here to clean up by yourself but Steve and Tony demanded pancakes last night. Is this normal when one consumes much drink here?"

She literally blinked at him. That caused him to tilt his head and blink right back.

Jane walked up behind him and peeped her cute as a button smiling not hung over face around his arm.

"You cleaned up so well, it's even like we had no party and hired a housekeeper!" Her voice was too chirpy for the dilemma Darcy was currently involved in. "Did Loki help?"

Boom went the bombshell, and Thor looked unsettled by the aftershock. Darcy didn't think the big guy could move that fast or turn and twirl Jane around so quickly.

Both he and Darcy screeched out "What?" as loud as possible.

To which the petite blue eyed girl smacked a hand over both they're mouth and jerked her head in the direction of her door. "You'll wake him up, shhh he-man!"

Thor stage whispered back," Lady Darcy is that why you're wearing a man's shirt?" He leaned in and to her horror, sniffed. "You even smell like him."

The large man took a step back nodded to himself and grinned. Jane just stood there and finally threw up her hands. She walked down the hall muttering to herself about how it finally happened and Tony better pay up on the bet.

Darcy could hear Jane on her cell phone telling Iron Man himself that, " yes they finally stopped with word games and yes it was a good idea that he baited Loki to come over last night. No it wasn't a void bet because he goaded the god of mischief to kiss her after she didn't drown in while bobbing for apples. Yes Tony, Jane wanted to hear exactly how wonderful her friend's ass looked while she bent over the tub and no she wasn't surprised Loki pushed Pirate Tony into a wall when he made that comment and asked where his costume was."

There was a pause until Jane started laughing," Well what do expect? You made fun of him and she was an Eskimo. If I was him I'd go all mythical icy blue and freeze your tongue to your drink too! Thank god we took you and your boyfriend out to Denny's"

Thor took that moment to yell the term bromance down the hall. All the while still grinning at Darcy like a demented jack o lantern. She just wanted to melt into the wall at that point. Scratch that, she wanted to crawl into the wall when Thor bounced past her to her bedroom and woke Loki.

Ok maybe it wasn't a bad thing to see, he did stalk out of the room with her sheet wrapped around his waist. Bonus points for the way his vibrant eyes zoned in on her and his lips quirked up. Good thing sock monkey was protecting her under garments because they would have been molten on the floor. That would totally ruin her and Jane's security deposit on the carpeting. Bummer.

Why wasn't her brain remembering what her ovaries where applauding with an encore? He slid past her and managed to press her up against the wall and bent down to whisper, "Good morning sweetness, throat feel alright? I can make you some tea if it's sore?"

The bastard didn't even drop the sheet and she was squirming trying to pull his shirt to her thighs. Damn him. Besides grasping on to the hem for dear life, she nodded. She'll agree to all the tea in the Queen's country if he'd serve it to her in that sheet.

Loki stepped back and regally walked into the kitchen past Jane, who paused in the middle of her tirade and just looked at him. Then ran to the hallway to Thor. Darcy could hear Tony's laughter from the tiny speaker. Jane proceeded to cut him off explain her Thor were coming to collect whatever they bargained and that Darcy and Loki needed to talk some 'things' over.

She still hadn't moved from her safe haven on the wall. All thoughts of a hangover gone. The other couple said they're goodbyes and she just waved them off. Last Darcy heard from them was Thor telling her to take time then asking Jane if he could drive.

She was doomed. There was now a half naked god making tea in her kitchen. She tiptoed to the corner and peeked around. Loki stood leaning against the counter, sipping tea and looking for the entire world like he knew she was going to follow.

And damn but did he look good doing so. His hair was still curly and falling into his eyes, giving him that impish boyish look still. His were anything but though. They smoldered and bore right into her, making promises of a repeat performance of last night. Which speaking of she still couldn't remember. Maybe he could offer a refresher course. After Darcy regained her dignity.

She was still peeping around the when he crooked his finger and motioned for her to come into the kitchen. Darcy squeaked and tried to bolt but found herself being pulled into the room. So the mischief maker decided use magic. She quelled the urge to stomp her foot.

Loki circled around her, still sipping his cup. Stopping in front he leaned in, "Aren't you chilly in only that?"

His eyes raking up and down her form. Darcy's thigh instantly clenched. She shook her head no, why should she? His looks alone made her feel feverish.

"Want your tea now?" He asked, slipping an arm around her and bringing another cup into view. Again she nodded, words just weren't working right now. She took the mug and sipped; he leaned back again and looked down into his own cup. A smirk on his lips and hair still in his eyes.

Darcy backed up enough that she reached a chair. She sat down and unknowingly gave Loki a full view up her/his shirt. Her head popped up when she heard a deep chuckle come from him. Blushing, she perched on the edge of the chair.

"Now sweetness, it's nothing I didn't get to know many many times last night." She choked on her drink. "Don't be so modest, I'd like to repeat it later actually."

That's when her mouth opened up and didn't stop. "What happened, when and why? Was the hard cider spiked? Oh God Tony ruffied me! I'm not a whore, I swear. You're just so attractive and you came here looking all guh like. I need to stop talking cause I totally want to remember what went down and wait...you want to repeat what?"

Oh yeah, there was verbal vomit. Again Loki chuckled; he kneeled down in front of her. In Darcy's embraced state she still sent a little prayer it'd slip loose. He placed both arms on each side of her and nudged her legs apart. Traitorous limbs they were, they parted like the red sea.

He looked up onto her face, "No Tony didn't drug you. You drank enough but the wonderful thing about magic love, it sobers you up. The hangover can't be helped. And from what I saw last night no one could mistake you for a whore. You had quite the lesson last night." she just sat there.

"Anyways as descriptive as guh is, I find you perfect Ms. Lewis. The perfect fit in fact. Sadly I fear my shirt looks better on you than me. Though I have the suspicion it'd look better on the floor." Yup again if she was wearing underwear there'd be a piece of ruined furniture. Never mind no one but her would be allowed to sit on thus chair again. EVER.

Darcy looked him straight on. "Really? You're not being you know the god of lies and shit right now? If you are I will taze you in your delicious looking ass because I do not do well with people screwing with me."

For his part Loki didn't flinch. He responded with solemn nod and pulled her face down to his. "Never, though poor Steve got a drunken ear full from you last night about me being the better brother. Something about the anti-hero is more attractive and other incoherent terms. Though I must warn you, of the two I am the big bad wolf." At this Darcy did flinch, he smiled and chastely kissed her. "So I might made Steve crave some pancakes and froze Stark's tongue to his glass. Asshole is to crude for his own good. I also never need to see Nick Fury in a wig saying 'bad ass motherfucker' ever again. What was Natasha wearing? Black hair and syringe sticking from chest was frankly strange."

Darcy started to laugh. A huge laugh that lasted a few moments. "First Thor learning slang and now you with the naughty words. It's not something I'm used to. They were from a movie and you did what to Tony?"

Loki only smirked at her. And in one move pulled her into his lap. "I believe you wanted a shower, if I remember you were muttering about one when you woke up."

She blushed when he continued, "I would like to join you." Darcy found that nodding was again a great way to communicate. Loki grinned at her, his face moving into look of absolute glee. He stood up in one movement with her in his arms. A laugh started in his chest, and to Darcy's delight he laughed like a child. All happiness and delight. Like Christmas, Halloween and his birthday came all at once.

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><p>One very hot and slightly pointless shower later they were back in her bed. Loki's hair by now was full blown curly and Darcy was fascinated by it. Her hands kept clutching and pulling it. Even when his head wasn't between her legs and his silver tongue worked even more magic. A flick here, a plunge there and some twists and nips his hair was forgotten.<p>

He drug himself up her body and if that wasn't the hottest thing she ever saw; he then flipped her over and in some untraceable move had positioned so in one move he could thrust up into her very fevered body.

Loki did seem to share the sane fascination with hair. He managed to wrap her's around his hand so her neck was exposed. Darcy's eyes were so blown, the blue blended into black. His own fared no better. Her hands delved into his hair once again as she drove him into herself. His hips snapped upward as his mouth traced pathways among stars down her neck and chest.

She gasped and sang his name. It spilled like a mantra from her red lips and shook the branches of the world tree. All he could think was mineminemine. He needed more and quickly. He rise up and layer her flat, hooking one leg over his shoulder and the other wrapped around his waist. Her hands pulled painfully on his locks and he responded by biting down on her neck. That would show any male she was HIS. He'd freeze Stark's balls off if the billionaire, genius, fucktard said anything about her again.

He slammed harder in and her litany became a torrent of filthy words begging him to do the acts she was naming. He slowed down and grasped one of her hands. "Sweetness," he growled. "Such naughty words coming from that pretty mouth." He felt her breath still, he smirked and shifted so he hit the spot that made her clench him so hard his own chest ached with repressed air.

"Fuck me.", was the last coherent thing Loki said before they proceeded to make sure Darcy needed to patch a hole in the wall.

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><p>Suffice to say Darcy needed to wash her hair, again. Something kept getting in it. It was decided that Loki's hair wasn't getting slicked back anytime soon and yes hisher's shirt looked better on the floor.

Jane and Thor came home, showing pictures of Tony with gauze stuck on his tongue. Jane didn't ask why there was a new kitchen set or what was burning in the outside fire pit. Thor had decided to enlighten her that it was the old set and how he was quite certain the legs had been broken due to strenuous activity.

Darcy blamed the bowl of leftover candy. Loki just smirked.

The sock monkey, well he ended up under the bed. It was most likely the safest place for him to be.


End file.
